Wednesday, October 3, 2012

It’s not you, It’s Me!

It’s not you, It’s Me!
A lot of us go through life blaming bad situations and misfortunes on others. Its time we take a closer look at ourselves and STOP doing stupid things that take away our joy. I am following these 10 simple steps by Jeff Haden to improve my quality of life and others around me! Consider joining me on this journey and see what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:
1. Blaming.
People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time. So you blame them for your problems. But you're also to blame. Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others aren’t masochistic, it's empowering--because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time. And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.
2. Impressing.
No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all "things." People may like your things--but that doesn't mean they like you.. Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.
3. Clinging.
When you're afraid or insecure you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn't particularly good for you. Holding on to what you think you need won't make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will. Even if you don't succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.
4. Interrupting.
Interrupting isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you're really saying is, "I'm not listening to you so I can understand what you're saying; I'm listening to you so I can decide what I want to say." Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.
5. Whining.
Your words have power, especially over you. If something is wrong, don't waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. So why waste time? Fix it now. Don't talk about what's wrong. Talk about how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself. And do the same with your friends or colleagues.

 6. Controlling.
If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs. Plus control is short term at best because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure--none of those let you feel good about yourself. Find people who want to go where you're going. They'll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships. And all of you will be happier.
7. Criticizing.
Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you'll see people--and yourself--in a better light.
8. Preaching.
Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging. The higher you rise and the more you accomplish the more likely you are to think you know everything--and to tell people everything you think you know.
When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don't listen
9. Dwelling.
The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Then let it go. Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn't know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding. The past is just training; it doesn't define you.
10. Fearing.
We're all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can't change, or what we won't be able to do, or how other people might perceive us. Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get started on it today. If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step. Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything. Otherwise today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.

Today is the most precious asset you own--and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.

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